Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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