if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
