I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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