You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize