haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize