I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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