I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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