So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
