you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No subtext here. People are naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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