You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
