i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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