He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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