She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
