you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
