and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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