Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
