I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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