Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Boobs are out for the taking
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
