Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
