you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
