what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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