i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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