from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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