I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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