Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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