one might say we're banned from that church
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
