I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize