Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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