Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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