I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
well you can't waste a boner
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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