"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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