I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just pee around me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize