I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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