I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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