she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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