Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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