my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
