Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize