WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
