His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
