I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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