Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So. Much. Porn.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
