When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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