I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
