Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
