so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
accomplished twins. life is a go
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i've created a new STD.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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