Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize