like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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