So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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