Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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