Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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