and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize