Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it's like iHOP with fire
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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