Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
