I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
